[	mood	|	life	]
[	music	|	Cranberries, The - Just My Imaginiation	]

 So, this is my first entry made while I’m at UVA. What does that tell you that it takes about a month to get enough time to make a quick post. Right now, かわばたとおえのために読まなくちゃいけない、けど。。。したくない！！

中国語をインスタルしたばっかり。I hope that makes sense, I haven’t used “bakkari” in a while.

Anyways, so yesterday (18th) I was walking through Newcomb to get to Clemons library to watch Hawai’ian movies (gr… dont even get me started), and by the elevator I saw three or four girls/women (same age as me or younger… Girls?) and at the other end, a bunch of about 15 girls. Then, one said “Okay, just say your name, and a little bit about yourself, and then walk”

And it was a runway audition.

Suddenly, as I watched the young girl (and here, I start to date myself, feeling as it my college life is already near its end; I am old and past my prime truly) “strut” down the clean tile hallway and waited for the elevator, I was confronted with another life.

What if I had stayed with my agent? What if I would have pursued my modeling career and accepted the invitations to pageants? What if I would have placed studies second to vanity? Would I be rich and famous now? Could that be me on runways somewhere? (Surely, I wouldn’t be in a dim hallway by an elevator, but I have not even that now)

It was like a light was shining on me-a spotlight-and then it passed over me. I could have been something like this. I felt this odd swelling at the back of my throat, and doubted the choices I had made in life.

Who said that I could make my own choices anyways? Why?

But then again, I’m better now, right? I’m a plain person with no side-story. I just go to school like everyone else. If my past had been different, things would not be what they are now, no? I would not have the life I have.

I sound as if I am narrating my life. It’s not a story…
Is that why I think that when I walk while listening to music that it is a soundtrack to my life? Do I want things to be like the movies?

I need to live.

生かなくちゃいけないんだよ。

Recently, I’ve been searching websites, especially S-R, and I’m feeling very inadequate about my site.I loaded WordPress, since my b2 (this) recently got hacked, and I had to restart it. But it wasn’t b2′s fault. It was my server, and a hacker that attacked CHMOD 777s. Thankfully, my gracious hosting service fixed it.I don’t quite know if I want to use wordpress, b2 seems easier to me. BUT, in wordpress, you can save themes, and change them at a click of a button. But, I probably would be making it one color and putting it in an i-frame.

Right now, I’m thinking about branching off, having a sub site for my portfolio. (That’d be the only one I could think of, I could just have my journal on the front page)

HAH! I finally got put in the publications for NVCC!
http://www.nvcc.edu/manassas/

changing picture. I also did the video when you click “click here before registering”

edit //
more posters

Which one do you like better?

[	mood	|	hungry	]
[	music	|	tummy rumbling	]

**kissing**
me: did you know that in F2M, with hormone therapy, the clitoris can grow to be from 1-3 inches? (like a mini-penis)
dan: eww, that’s weird
dan: ok, lets play mario soccer
me: huh? oh, I guess that’s a bit of a turn off for you ^^
me: (while sitting down and getting nintendo controller) and for M2F, they take the skin on the shaft of your penis and line their “vagina” with it, so they can really have orgasms
dan: –no response–

**dinner**
me: what do you talk about with Irma/Raymunda (old people that work at the bank)
dan: we talked about nails once
me: like the nails used in the tribal Kongo masks in southern Africa
dan: i forgot, you were learning about Africa
—
me: i learned all the different ways Russians tortured people like.. (lists examples for 10 minutes)
dan: stop learning stuff!
me: i guess I need to find a happy medium between sex and killing

I GOT MY HISTORY TEST BACK AND I GOT 1 OF THE ONLY (OUT OF THREE) As.
I FREAKING KICK BUTT.

I went to a tea party with my girl scouts.
*shudder*
i will not talk about that.

( belated birthday for brandon (linkkk) from canadas!! ) Read more »