nothing like listening to icelandic music (or more specifincally, any music in a foreign language, ESPECIALLY one you dont understand) before going to sleep. soothing?
turns out this is a lullaby.

VÖKURÓ
…Langt í burt
vakir veröld stór
grimmum töfrum tryllt
eirðarlaus
óttast nótt og dag
augu þín
óttalaus og hrein
brosa við mér björt…

(Far away
wakes the great world
mad with grim enchantment
disquieted
fearful of night and day
your eyes
fearless and serene
smile bright at me)
from Björk’s Medulla Alblum.. this is not all of it. here ya go.

i feel assured knowing what he’s doing, where he is, and that he’s with me, not someone else.

sounds like something it’s not, right?
thats what i’m trying to figure out too.

why am i so messed up?

gah! so pissed off that i scratched my phone TWICE in the span of a few hours and i cant trade it in, will lose all my stiff, innate sense of NO direction, psychology seems like fun at eleven something.

___at first I didn’t like being alone.
___________________a phobia of mine.
_but now after always being with people, I relish it.
the time pases slower when I’m alone but I like it that way.
______________possibly, i’m fine. because i know someone’s on
______________their way home.
my home.
_____I find myself smiling in thought. unknowingly. I catch
_____myself, and consciously widen it.
__________________________I like this life.
While i can keep apologizing for being myself, I don’t see the point.
___the only people I need to impress, I already have.
___________________I have to only care about myself,
because this is not the time.

_________________________I’m content with where I am.
_____________________________this is the perfect resting place, don’t you think?
____________________I’d prefer to stay, for I will never know
____________________where
my potential was, would have been if I move on.

_______________I hate how the wind blows things around.
_________________________I can’t catch it?
__________________I do not like it.
___________________________I was talking about something else.
I like how only I can understand.
______________________I I I I I, enough for you?
______________________________________(don’t lose this)

___Today I am very happy with who I am, and for the first time,
___I like it.

___at first I didn’t like being alone.
___________________a phobia of mine.
_but now after always being with people, I relish it.
the time pases slower when I’m alone but I like it that way.
______________possibly, i’m fine. because i know someone’s on
______________their way home.
my home.
_____I find myself smiling in thought. unknowingly.
I catch
_____myself, and consciously widen it.
__________________________I like this life.
While i can keep apologizing for being myself, I don’t see the point.
___the only people I need to impress, I already
have.
___________________I have to only care about myself,
because this is not the time.
_________________________I’m content with where I am.
_____________________________this is the perfect resting place, don’t you think?
____________________I’d prefer to stay, for I will never know
____________________where my potential was, would have been if I move on.
_______________I hate how the wind blows things around.
_________________________I can’t catch it?
__________________I do not like it.
___________________________I was talking about something else.
I like how only I can understand.
______________________I I I I I, enough for you?
______________________________________(don’t lose this)
___Today I am very happy with who I am, and for the first time,
___I like it.

did i say how perfect these wristwarmers were? lemme say it again. they’re PERFECT. i have really poor circulation in my legs and arms because of my anemia. (Another thing to check off to bad genetics, looks like i got the best AND worst of my ancestors). I especially have trouble when i’m typing. i have NO CLUE as to why my fingers get so frikkin’ cold when i’m typing, maybe something like i use up the blood in them, and my body cant deliver new quick enough, so it spreads it out.. i dont know. i’m not a doctor. but anyways, these things are so awesome. keeps my hands warm, yet still lets me type, and write, for that matter, freely. makes me feel a little “rogue from x-men the movie” ish though.

oh, and my psychology professor just emailed me saying that i havent done this thing on the online course yet, and if i need help, he’s glad to help me. so, i gave myself a lot of credit, yet didnt alter his ego, i mean, im in no position to! i came 20 some minutes late to his class! so, i politely said that i have participated in the online course, as of August 25th, and that i know how to use it, but thanks for the concern, sorry for being late, etc… yeah. go me.

i love my english class, but how should i write? and i accidentally called myself “jessica” in third person. hope no one thinks i’m psycho… ?